Advice from the cool older Brother - Never wear the band shirt to the concert

During my younger years of being unable to attend a concert unchaperoned, I managed to wrangle a couple of my siblings (and parents) to escort me to various shows (Martha and Dad to 98 Degrees, Mom to Hanson, Mary to Unwritten Law, and Carson to Reel Big Fish/Goldfinger and Weezer...what can I say, some of them had better luck than others). Somewhere along the way, my brother told me a great piece of advice that has stuck with me throughout the years. It was on the way to a Weezer show, circa 2000 with a couple of friends and my dear brother, and his friend HotCarl, I mean Cal (and yes, I still remember that Playboy shirt) when buying a souvenir tour shirt told me, "Tippi, never wear the shirt of the band you are going to see at their own concert. It's lame and you look like a dork." Ok I can't remember the line verbatim, it was 11 years ago after all, but that was the gist of it, Shirt of the band you are seeing + Their concert = Lame. Afterwards, wear it all you want (ps - I still wear mine sometimes even though it doesn't fit me like it did when I was 15 and was accidentally washed with bleach once...or twice, it's soft now and it feels like a badass throwback). 


Flash forward to 2011, and I am still attending shows like I am 15 again...literally because I am the oldest person in the room, minus the parents who are there to chaperon their 15 year old kids...maybe a couple 12 year olds thrown into the bunch. The setting, The Loft at Center Stage to see Parachute, who happened to be opening for Plain White T's. I enjoy Parachute's music, it is catchy and I'll admit, I find the drummer to be very attractive (must be a trend in my attraction to drummers...shout out to Zac Hanson by the way). The singer has an amazing voice, and in general they are very talented musicians.  I have seen them before in a more age appropriate setting and had a grand time. However, at this particular show I realized that unless you 1. Actually know them on a "backstage pass" level (as one of the members in our party did), 2. Are watching your child, or 3. You or your friend are hooking up with one of the members in the band, you are probably too old to be at a Plain White T's show. And since I qualified for none of those categories, I chose instead to embarrass myself by drinking too much PBR, since I was one of the few people in the entire room who could, and slightly/heavily harass the Parachute tour manager about ways I can break into Music Promotions...Needless to say, we left 3 songs into the Plain White T's, which was good because in that time they managed to play 1 of the only 3 songs I know by them. 


So here are the lessons I learned the hard way:


1. Natural Disaster by Plain White T's can remain on my iPod as a guilty pleasure, but alas I am too old to enjoy the show live.
2. To the old couple who literally threatened physical violence to me and my friends as we tried to move up to the front during Parachute (and only Parachute) - you are assholes and there is no way you "had been waiting there all day" as the doors only opened at 8. I don't think they had any kids with them, and I'm pretty sure he had a mullet. You are even older and lamer than me, so suck it Trebeck!
3. 75% of the 15 year olds did not get the memo about wearing the band shirt to their concert. See Tips for Playing it Cool for further details. 


And last but not least...


4. Seeking drunken career advice is a bad move. No exceptions. My apologies to the Tour Manager who thinks I am a crazy person.


Sincerely,


Crazy Tippi